On Love, Separation, Survival and True Love
Christine
The story you’re about to read is a love story told by a couple, Elizabeth and Del, who met at the start of World War II, fell in love and then, due to circumstances beyond their control, brought on by the war, were unable to see each other for three years. My name is Christine and I am their only granddaughter. Recently, I visited them in their assisted living facility apartment.
During our visit I chatted with my grandmother about the difficulty I’ve been struggling with in maintaining healthy, loving relationships. Married and divorced twice, my current relationship unraveling, I was hoping she might tell me what to do. Still very sharp in spite of her age, she listened attentively. When it was time for lunch, she called my grandfather into the kitchen and together they told me their story. I had never heard it before. In telling their story, they offered me some old-fashioned wisdom rather than suggesting what I should do.
Elizabeth
When I was young, I was petite and I wore my hair shoulder length, as was the style during the war. Del was in Europe, but I could only guess where. The news worried me, of course. He had shipped off to England in July of 1942, and eventually it seemed likely he would take part in the D-Day operation. When the invasion finally happened, we were on pins and needles, praying for our boyfriends and husbands. Several of my friends got such dreadful bad news right away. I said many prayers. I used to get up early and get ready for work at the defense plant in Newark. I’d scramble some powdered eggs, and listen to the radio, hoping to hear some good news. I’d tell myself he must be half-way to Paris by now. Or, could he have been sent to Italy? He was an infantryman. He could be anywhere. Before I ate breakfast each day, I always said a quick prayer he would come back to me safe and sound.
Christine
They’d met on New Year’s Eve, 1941 at a house party in Newark. Born and raised in a small town in Tennessee, Del had just completed his basic and infantry training at Fort Dix, New Jersey.
Elizabeth
We liked each other right away. We were the same age, 21. The next day, my friend Jeanette said, “That guy you met last night, he’s the one, isn’t he?”
I laughed, but I must say I was amazed that the chemistry between us was obviously powerful. When he called the next day to ask me out, I said yes right away. Oh, my, we spent the next five months together, practically inseparable. We got to know each other, as much as a couple could in that amount of time and under the watchful eye of my family.
Del
When I got my orders to ship out, I went out that same day and bought an engagement ring. I showed up at her house that evening unannounced and asked to speak with Elizabeth’s father. I don’t mind saying I was quite nervous. I said something like, Sir, they’re sending me to England three days from now. I’ve come to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage. Have you discussed it with her? he asked. I said no. I felt I should speak with you first.
I remember like it was yesterday, he nodded his head slowly, a concerned look on his face. I see, he said. You haven’t known each other very long. Seems kind of sudden, doesn’t it? I mean, would you be so quick to ask if there wasn’t a war going on?
I don’t know, I said. The thing is, there is a war going on, but I know I love Elizabeth and I want to marry her. Her father laughed, not unkindly. We shook hands. I remember he nodded his head, very slowly. Then he said, as far as he could tell, she was likely to say yes. Then he smiled and asked me if I was sure if I was ready. I looked him in the eye and said, I’m sure.
Christine
Del is a short man who still has nearly a full head of wavy hair. I think he liked Army life, at least the opportunity to travel. Coming from a small town near Chattanooga, he’d never even allowed himself to imagine big cities. The biggest city he’d seen before the army was Memphis.
Friends and family threw a hastily arranged engagement party. There wasn’t even time for Del’s family to journey to New Jersey to meet Elizabeth.
Elizabeth
But I traveled south to meet them after Del got to England. They were nice to me, but I can’t say they were warm. I was there for three days as planned. When his brother, Cal, took me to the train depot in Chattanooga, I guess he could see I was being rather quiet. He told me not to feel too bad. He said, “It’s probably not my place to tell you this, but we were expecting Del to marry Darlene after the war.” He told me Darlene was Del’s girl ever since the first grade. Then he said that I met her the day before at the picnic. I remembered Darlene. She was the one who went to some length to tell me how pretty I was and how charming. I could tell she didn’t like me, but I didn’t know why.
Del
I was a crazy kid, beginning to think I was a man, a worldly man at that. Heck, I’d been to New York City; I saw the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty. Sundays in London, I’d take long walks, taking in the sights and dreaming of walking through the streets of Paris before long. I got over that one morning when we were briefed about what was going to happen on D-Day. I wrote Elizabeth a long love letter and tore it up. I figured it would only make things worse for her if I got myself killed. I used to smoke Lucky Strike cigarettes, but when I made it safely onto Omaha Beach and actually did march into Paris, I quit smoking. Elizabeth detested the habit. I’d promised her I would quit while I was away. And I did.
Elizabeth
Not seeing Del for so long, I got lonelier than a night watchman in a rail yard. I mean the months just piled up and soon it was a year of worried waiting. After two years of waiting I worried about whether he’d still want me when he came home. I kept sending him letters, at least three a week, but his letters to me were slow in coming. I kept busy, of course, volunteering. I sold war bonds and helped out at the Red Cross when I could. I liked to imagine that something I did, putting together a care package for the boys overseas would somehow get into Del’s hands and he would know it was from me. Elizabeth laughed, recalling the way she felt then. I guess it was beyond silly, but somehow it helped.
Christine
I watched my grandmother stand and gingerly stretch her legs. I noticed her grimacing as she did so.
Elizabeth
There was this man at work, a few years older than I was. He said he’d volunteered for the war, but was classified 4-F and couldn’t serve. He never told us why. Some people thought his family paid to keep him out. At first, he was just friendly. He helped me learn how to work the machine I was assigned to. I thought he was very kind, but then he started asking me out to lunch. When I said no thank you, he wanted to buy me dinner. He gave me a red rose on my birthday. He was a very good-looking man and I suppose I was tempted, but then I would think about Del, you know, imagine he was sitting in a foxhole, cold, hungry, tired and just maybe reading one of my letters. I knew I would just hate myself if I went out with this man, or even just for a walk in the park. I waited for Del.
Christine
Do you think he waited for you?
Elizabeth
He said he did.
Del
We heard rumors that D-Day wasn’t far off, which meant it wouldn’t be long before we were confined to the staging area in Kent County. As I recall, this was near the end of February. A couple of guys I palled around with came to me and said we were getting a weekend pass. They wanted to go to London to find some female company. I remember one of them saying, Del, if we’re going to die before we even make it to the beach, we owe it to ourselves to be with a woman who knows the ropes. I was engaged to Elizabeth, of course, so I said I wasn’t interested. Well, that isn’t exactly true. I suppose I thought about it. As it turned out, I’d been fighting off a cold. That night my cold became the flu. I didn’t go to London. Over the years, I’ve always been grateful for catching the flu that day. I’m pretty sure I would have held fast, but I certainly understood why the other guys went to London.
Christine
Were you ever worried that Elizabeth might find someone else?
Del
Every day. Even true love can be insecure under certain circumstances. I saw enough guys get Dear John letters from home. It was hard to watch.
Elizabeth
Even today, so many years later, young people will ask how we were able to wait so long for each other. Del was gone for three long years. But the letters we wrote sustained us. In hindsight, I suppose it sounds impossible, but I can tell you that the old saying, True love never dies,’ is absolutely true. Del and I have always believed that even if we never exchanged a single word while he was gone, we would have found each other when he got home.
Del
I knew the minute I laid eyes on her at that party that she was going to be my wife. I managed to save all of her letters. Wasn’t easy during combat missions, but I did it. Those letters were my lifeline. I still have them. Love is funny, you know? Elizabeth and I smile when we’re asked how we did it. Thousands of men and women did it. I always say the same thing. It takes patience, determination and rock- solid belief in each other.
Christine
That doesn’t sound very romantic.
Del
Perhaps not, but when you want something as much as we did, and circumstances beyond your control make it seem impossible, patience and determination to see it through are sometimes the only thing you have to keep your dreams alive.
Elizabeth
Del, you’re making it sound harder than it was, dear. I never felt anything but joy about our future. I never had any real doubts about how it would turn out. Occasional worries, certainly. But as long as you came home alive, I knew we would have a wonderful life together. Don’t you agree?
Del
I do, Elizabeth. I think I was referring more to being in the war and worrying about getting home to you. I always knew if I did get home, we would spend years making up for lost time. We’d never take a moment for granted.
Christine
How many years have you been married?
Elizabeth
We married on New Year’s Eve, 1945, just one month after Del got home. So, we’ll be celebrating our Diamond Anniversary, 75 years, this year.
Christine
You’ve kept each other young.
Del
We’re both about to turn 99. Elizabeth has kept me alive. So many married couples forget what it was that made them fall in love. Their love is still there, I think. They just stop feeding it, or allow bad moments to bury their love until they can’t find it. They forget about the importance of forgiveness. I sound like that guy Dr. Phil, don’t I? Forgive me.
Elizabeth
You’re forgiven dear.