Love Potion #10

Early Friday morning. Tim Rushton was waiting for me in the lab. He’d called me late Thursday night and asked if I could meet him there. We work at Castle Pharmaceuticals, a company that is best known for making flu vaccines.

“Ken, I’m glad you could make it,” Tim said. His long hair was pulled back in a short ponytail. He has huge eyes and this morning they look bigger than usual.

“What’s up, Tim?”

“I’ve discovered something that will make us rich and powerful.” He turned on the coffeemaker. 

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you until you sign this non-disclosure form.” He handed it to me. I was familiar, of course with Castle’s form and saw immediately this wasn’t theirs. For one thing the header had only a crude looking logo that said “Lasting Love.”

“What is this, Tim?”

“It’s the name of my new company, ours if you’re smart enough to help me get it off the ground.”

“What exactly is Lasting Love?” He pointed to the non-disclosure form and handed me a pen. I signed it, wondering what rules, or maybe even laws, I was breaking. Obviously, whatever Tim was working on, he did it in the company lab, probably on company time, using their equipment and company materials. That meant that the company owned whatever he invented.

He pulled a vial from his lab coat. “Remember that old song, Love Potion #9? I always loved that song.”

“The original version by the Searchers?” I asked.

“They were before our time. Anyway, what I have in this vial is a love potion and it works!”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “It works? How?”

“Let’s say you want a woman to fall in love with you. She’s not interested. With me so far?”

“Well, I have a lot of experience with that.”

“That’s true Ken, you do. But if you can get the woman you want to take this stuff, she will fall in love with you in fifteen minutes, tops.”

Again, I laughed. “You’ve tried this?”

He smiled. “Getting married next week. Trust me, it works like a charm. You know, Greta, the girl who works in shipping?”

“Dark eyes, dark hair, goth look and never smiles?”

“She’s smiling now. I gau shot,ve her the injection, has to be in a vein, of course, and like I said, fifteen minutes later she told me she loved me.”

“Then what happened?”

“I took her to Sonic. We had burgers and fries. Then we went to meet her parents. Nice people. Greta looks just like her father.”

My head was spinning now. Tim is a serious sort, not one for practical jokes. Yet, I could scarcely believe he wasn’t telling me a tall tale. “Let’s back up. You said you injected this potion into her vein?”

“Exactly.”

“How did you get her to do that?”

Tim slapped his head. “I forgot to tell you. I had to inject myself too. Very important. I did it in front of her. Then I said, ‘Stick your arm out.’”

“And she did what you asked?”

“Well, I had to tell her a little white lie. I told her it was a new, super flu shot. That if she took it, she’d never get the flu again.” He paused. “Unethical, you think?” 

“On so many levels. Have you tested this on any other people?”

“Not yet. I’m hoping you’ll pick a girl you like and give it a try.”

“You’re crazy, Tim. You know that?”

“What do you mean?”

“For starters, isn’t it possible that Greta already had a thing for you? Maybe your love potion had nothing to do with the way she felt about you,” I said. “She probably already liked you.”

“You think so? I never thought of that.”

I turned my back and pretended to look through one of the microscopes that were lined up on tables along the wall. I didn’t want Tim to see me laugh again. “Why don’t you try it on Stacey, Mr. Weaver’s assistant?” I asked.

“Yes, that is an excellent idea, Ken. She’d be perfect for you. Now please don’t take this the wrong way, but she wouldn’t give you the time of day under any circumstances.”

“Point taken, Tim. But can we be sure Stacey doesn’t have a secret crush on me?” I was teasing him a little.”

Tim shrugged. “I’m not good at reading the signals they send. You really think Greta was already interested in me?”

I smiled. “Here’s a thought. Why don’t you ask her?”

He waved my suggestion off. He called Stacey from the office phone and asked her to come to the lab. She walked in, looking drop dead gorgeous, as usual. Her long auburn hair was perfectly curled. Her perfect brown eyes always made my knees weak. “What’s up?” she asked, dropping her purse on the counter.

“Tim is doing an experiment on mutual attraction,” I said, surprised that I was going along with Tim’s crazy plan. I suppose it’s fair to say that some part of me secretly hoped Tim’s love potion worked. “He wants to inject us both with a, uhm, serum that might make us feel attracted to each other.”

“Why would I want to do that?” she asked, biting her lip to hide a frown.

“You’re not currently attracted to Ken, are you?” Tim asked.

“Hardly.” She picked up her purse and turned to leave.

“That’s why we picked you,” Tim said.  This is actually a super flu shot. But Ken seems to think it has a side effect, namely, it makes people fall in love.”

“This is a joke, right?’

“Of course. It’s really just a flu shot,” I said. Obviously, we hadn’t thought this through before calling Stacey.

“You’re both idiots, you know that?”

“Personally, I don’t believe it,” Tim whispered, his earlier confidence gone.

Stacey shook her head. “Remind me never to speak to either one of you again.”

You don’t think it’s possible?” I asked. I have to admit, I was enjoying myself. 

“Please.” Again, she turned to leave.

“Have you had your flu shot yet?” Tim asked.

“Actually, no.”

“How about you, Ken?”

“No.” I lied.

Tim picked up two syringes and filled them. “Ready?”Stacey surprised us. She took her jacket off and rolled up her sleeve.  “Let’s get this over with.” Before she could change her mind, Tim gave her the injection. Then he picked up the other syringe and gave his potion to me. That done, Tim poured coffee for the three of us. We sat quietly drinking it and waiting.

Twenty minutes later, Stacey stood up. She looked at me and then at Tim. She picked up her purse and started for the door. Just before she opened it, she turned to look at us. “If I get the flu this year, I’ll make sure Mr. Weaver fires you two.” She opened the door and without looking back she said, “Ken, your shirt looks like you slept in it.” That’s how I knew Tim’s Love Potion #10 didn’t work.