Security Guard Perks

Just a few minutes before his shift started, Ray eyed himself in the office mirror. He had to admit he looked good in his cleaned and pressed, gray security guard uniform.  Tonight, would be his first night on duty. He was set to work the four to twelve shift with Carl, who would show him the ropes. Starting tomorrow night, he’d be on his own, working the midnight to eight shift.

When Carl, a friend of Ray’s since high school, saw Ray’s uniform he brushed the sides of his own soiled pants with his hands. “Hey already you’re making me look bad, buddy.” He punched his time card and handed Ray the watchman’s clock. “It’s a simple job Ray. Every night, on the hour, we walk the premises of McGillick and Sons, turning 21 keys on this here watchman’s clock.”

“Where are the keys?” Ray asked.

“Chained to the walls. I’ll show you where they are.”

“You taking that uniform to the cleaners or are you just gonna burn it?” Ray asked as they headed toward the factory floor.

Carl touched the fabric of Ray’s uniform. “Last time I checked they aren’t paying you more for looking like the doorman at the Ritz.”

The men laughed. “Thanks again for putting in a good word for me, Carl. Think I’m gonna like working here.”

“You kidding me? You’re gonna love it, especially when we get to the office.” Carl smiled. “It’s time for our first tour, follow me.”    

The two men went about their job, making sure everything was as it should be at McGillick and Sons. They started in the warehouse, then worked their way through shipping, production and the lab, inserting the strategically placed keys in the watchman’s clock to prove they did their job.

The last key before they checked the office was at the end of a long dark corridor. “Try not to touch the walls, Ray. You’ll get your pretty uniform dirty if you do,” Carl said.

“Kind of dark here,” Ray said.

“That’s because there ain’t enough light. One night I almost stepped on a rat,” Carl said.

“Now you tell me? I’m afraid of rats,” Ray said.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re ready for the office. It’s the best part of the job. Especially when you get the munchies.”

“I saw the snack machines near the front office,” Ray said.

“Forget the snack machines. McGillick don’t pay enough for you to buy your candy. Anyway, you don’t have to.” Carl led Ray through the business office. As they walked along the three long rows of desks, he would stop at one and say, “Open that drawer.” Ray did as he was told. There was an open bag of Milky Way bars. At Mrs. Laskey’s desk, he found a huge bag of bite size candies including Snickers, Mounds, and Baby Ruth bars.

“Baby Ruth bars, Carl. I love them. Can I take one?” Ray asked. He put the watchman’s clock on the desk.  

“Now listen to me, Ray. You got to be careful about this. I limit myself to a couple of pieces a night from each desk. Even the stuff I love,” Carl said. “We’re just getting started. The ladies who work here all have candy in their desks, but you have to make sure anything you take won’t be missed.” Carl put his hand on Ray’s shoulder. “Looks like there’s only one Baby Ruth bar left. You gotta leave it there. Some of these people keep count.”

“How do you know that?”

“John, the guy who worked here before me, got fired. Mrs. Gallo, the lady who sits at the first desk in this row, set him up. She brought in a box of a dozen chocolate covered cherries from France.”

“So?”

“So, John helps himself to three of them. Everybody in the office knew it was a setup. Had to be him. Mrs. Gallo is a tough cookie. Said it wasn’t the first time her candy went missing. She reported the missing cherries as soon as she got to work the next morning.”

“Wow. He was fired just for eating three pieces of candy?”

Carl took his cap off and scratched his head. “The next day I asked her, why’d you do that? She says. ‘He’s supposed to be a guard, not a thief. How do I know he won’t steal my wallet next time?’”

“I suppose she had a point,” Ray said.

“Maybe, but I was so mad. John was good people. I told her some nights I take a few Tootsie Rolls from her bottom drawer. You gonna report me too, I asked?”

Ray looked at Carl, hands on his hips. “What did she say?”

“Maybe, she says, if I catch you taking them.”

Ray laughed. He ran his fingers through the candy bag and found four more Baby Ruth bars. He showed them to Ray. “Looks like Mrs. Laskey has five. How many should I take?”

Carl smiled. “Hold off until we see what Mrs. Gallo has. She’s got the good stuff.”