On Being Fate Creating Machines

We are living in a time when bad behavior is often ignored, even by leaders who should know better. At times, it seems, such behavior is even encouraged. Road rage, random punches landed on unsuspecting, innocent pedestrians, and fist fights as a featured attraction on flights, are examples we’ve all heard about.

We have witnessed political speech that is not just deliberately misleading but calculated to incite violence. Bad behavior occurs in formerly venerated institutions, business settings, in the halls of government and in our personal lives. Sadly, some leaders actively support such behavior.

Bad behavior can create situations, moments perhaps, that alter the lives of the people around us. Such behavior can also profoundly affect the lives of loved ones for years to come. The men who were convicted for their actions during the January 6, 2021, Capitol riot, were sentenced to years in prison. There’s no question that their behavior, and its outcome, affected the course of the lives of people they didn’t know, and people who mattered to them a great deal.

One truth about life that is hardly profound, but rarely, if ever, considered, is that we are all fate creating machines. Just the fact that we exist puts us in that role. While the statement may not be profound, the impact we have on the lives of others can certainly be profound for them. 

Obviously, this is not inherently a bad thing. We interact with so many people throughout our lives and quite often, we do good things for them. We play a wonderful role in helping to create the fate of others. We make friends and guide them through a crisis, helping them to fully recover and lead productive lives. We lend someone money to start a business, setting their lives on an entirely new trajectory. We marry this one instead of that one, affecting our fate and theirs. We hire and yes, fire people, who, often, benefit in the long run from the experience.

Merriam Websters dictionary defines fate as, “A power beyond our control that is believed to decide what happens.” I’m not suggesting that fate is immutable. Realistically, however, I believe our fate, or destiny, is affected, perhaps in large part, by the action or inaction of others. Knowing that we can have a substantial impact on the direction of the lives of others is a big responsibility. It’s also a wonderful opportunity to do some good while we’re here. I’ve done things in my life that I wish I had done differently or not at all. Going forward, I hope to do better; consider more carefully my role in helping to create someone’s fate.

Being human, we all behave badly at times, in little, and sometimes, big ways. When we behave badly, we have to own it. We must recognize and acknowledge our faults. Does bad behavior ever turn out well for anyone in the long run? Whether we behave badly toward strangers, or target family, friends, or associates, often, it’s not in our best interest. We pay a price and if we behave badly enough, the price can be extremely high, for us and others affected by our choices.  

I suspect most of us attribute decent or respectable motives to what is, in reality, bad behavior. It’s only when we can’t sleep at night that the truth creeps in, visiting us in a fragment of a dream or a fleeting thought. In such moments we face up to the fact that our words and actions were at best misguided. At worst unworthy of who we want to be.

The point here is that while we may take for granted that we’re all fate creating machines, it seems wise to consciously consider that fact now and then.  It should be clear that how we deal with our less than worthy behavior ultimately affects our own fate. We have a hand in creating the fate of others, and…our choices create our own fate too. As French philosopher, Jean- Paul Sartre, said, “Nous sommes nos choix.” We are our choices.