I read a long time ago that there is a difference between a reaction and an opinion. The difference is that reaction tends to be immediate. Opinions are the result of time, thought and sometimes a bit of research. Neither reaction, nor opinion, should be confused with fact. Sometimes, they are, though. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the difference between reaction and opinion.

 Most of us probably don’t make a distinction between the two. I think that’s because we no longer have the luxury of time to think things through that we once had. 

 Ages ago, people wrote letters and mailed them. Recipients received the correspondence days, or even weeks, later. There was no expectation then that a response would be immediate. It took time to write a handwritten letter and one had to have the time to write. That was often a good thing. Even without consciously considering the matter, the subconscious mind of the respondent had a chance to contemplate and ruminate. The simple passage of time gave them the opportunity to develop, if necessary, a measured response.

 Offering a reaction in a conversation conducted in person, has always allowed for adjustment. A listener’s body language, or facial expression, provides feedback. Even a phone call provides clues; silence, sounds/words signaling distress. Speakers have the chance to clarify their thoughts, or, perhaps, acknowledge they may have misspoken.

 But communication today isn’t limited to letters and live conversations. We live in a world often dominated by instant electronic communication. Texting and social media, quicken the pace of everything. It has changed the way we communicate, Truncated letters and emojis substitute for words. The communication tools we use encourage instant responses. We are alerted to messages. Our smartphones are our constant companions. Even when we sleep our phones are nearby and always ready.

 Too, electronic communication isn’t always one to one. More often it’s a group event. We can offer our point of view immediately, which tends to add a competitive aspect to communication.

One factor that favors immediate reaction over taking the time to form an opinion is that topics of interest tend to shift quickly today. By the time we have an opinion, the subject has often changed.

In such a fast-paced world, immediate reaction offers instant gratification, but it is an inadequate substitute for developing an opinion. Obviously, this is not important if the topic is your reaction to a photo of a plate full of food you happen to dislike. The same can be said for a movie a friend is touting that you wouldn’t see if someone paid you to watch.

However, matters of public policy and politics are also debated on social media. Reactions are often interesting, but too often they reflect a lack of understanding of the issues. There are always at least two sides. Political issues tend to be complex. Maybe the banter is harmless in terms of problem solving, but reactions do seem to be having a deleterious effect on civility. We say things in social media posts that we wouldn’t dream of saying to someone’s face. My favorite nickname for this behavior is “keyboard tough guy.”  

If we are honest, some of us are driven by a desire to appear clever, or smart on occasion. We want to garner those coveted likes and loves. A quick, seemingly clever, reaction to someone’s post can be satisfying. Whether we are revealing our true selves is an afterthought in the moment. I’m sure we’ve all read posts wondering if the writer realizes that their words may reveal something about them that is unattractive, probably unintended and to be fair, not necessarily true. Of course, a reaction, can be triggered by a momentary emotion that could be as much about what kind of day they had or how life has been going recently. Do readers consider the writer’s state of mind as they read? Not often.     

I will grant you that not every reaction is visceral. Sometimes we have formed an opinion about a subject after previously giving the matter considerable thought. Only the person offering a point of view knows for sure. For example, I’m a long-time baseball fan who follows the New York Yankees closely. Outfielder, Aaron Judge, who has only played for the Yankees, is a free agent. He may sign with the Yankees again or go to another team. If the Yankees lose him, my reaction would be that the team is stupid, doesn’t care about the fans and the team is cheap.

A more thoughtful response might be to consider what they offered compared to the team who signed him. It would make sense to recognize that there are things the Yankees know that I don’t know, such as Judge’s health status. What other players might they want to sign and have to budget for? What are the team’s revenue projections over the next five years? Since the answers to these questions are not available to me, an informed opinion might be that the professionals running the team probably know what they are doing. I am entitled to my reaction, of course. I am entitled to be very unhappy about their decision if they lose him.   

Ideally, posting on social media on controversial topics should have a built-in lag time, like mailing a letter once did. Obviously, that isn’t always possible. But nothing stops us from establishing our own cautionary delay. If you feel the topic is important, it can be helpful to write what you think, or feel, and let it sit overnight. Even an hour’s delay can help you clarify your thoughts. Then, ask a very hard question. “What is my motive for sending this? Am I trying to add insight to the discussion? Humor? Am I eager to show I’m brighter than the rest? Do I have a need to be seen/heard, regardless of the consequences? 

If what you’re about to post feels right, honest and appropriate, go ahead and press send. You just might change someone’s day for the better.